In This Issue:
From the desk of La Donna Burgess, Executive Director: “Hope out of Crisis”
Thank you to our incredible volunteers
PROOF: Santa Claus Exists
“My Story” by Eva, Survivor
From the desk of La Donna Burgess, Executive Director: “Hope out of Crisis”
Dear friend,
We are facing a crisis in Washington County. Last month in our county alone, eleven lives were taken by domestic violence. Because of your past support of our work, we knew that you’d be concerned, and that you’d want to help.
The Domestic Violence Resource Center was ready and able to help in at least one of these cases. She made an appointment with us for November 30th. Unfortunately, she did not get to keep her appointment. Her boyfriend murdered her and then shot himself in her workplace two days before the appointment.
As the news stories of murder-suicides dominated the headlines last month, calls to our crisis line tripled and people coming in for help at our office doubled. Over the course of November, fifty-one people showed up for an initial counseling session. Why the dramatic increase? One survivor said she watched the news and said: “this could have been me”.
What is the Domestic Violence Resource Center doing to help the families and friends of the victims?
We reached out to the businesses that were involved in the recent tragedies and offered the support of our counseling staff. On Friday of last week, two of our counselors went and provided one-on-one counseling for employees looking for support. Also, our staff are available to go out and help people learn more about domestic violence and what they can do to help. Only through education and compassion will we break this cycle of violence that has claimed too many lives.
Why have there been so many domestic violence murders in Washington County?
Short answer: There are many possible reasons, but a major factor is the economic downturn.
Long answer: Even though homes are becoming more dangerous, survivors were not coming to us in greater numbers. There are more barriers to survivors wanting to make a new beginning. The greater Portland area has almost 15% unemployment. In these uncertain economic times, could they risk supporting the children on their own? Could they find another job, if they knew their abusive partner could find them at their old job? Could they find affordable housing? Of the 200 survivors that we sheltered this past year, they were in the greatest economic need we’ve ever witnessed. Many came to us after having lived in their car—one woman lived in her car for a month before a safe and confidential space opened up. She said she yearned to run the car for heat at night, but didn’t have money for the gas.
What can you do about the increase in domestic violence in our community?
You can do a lot. Not only can you volunteer at our office, attend our events, and schedule an educational presentation at your office, you can donate twice your annual amount today. We realize that this amount may be a stretch right now, but right now the need is greater than ever before. Thanks to generous people like you, we believe that despite the hard economic times, allies like you will answer our call to support our work in the community. Our efficient service-model allows us to run a lean organization with 86% of our budget spent on providing services directly to survivors. With your increased gift, our services will not only continue to help those in crisis, but help educate the entire community about how to empower one another to have safe and healthy relationships. We know that you want to be part of the legacy of building a safe and healthy community. Please, give generously today.
In this time of need, we’re especially proud of what we accomplished in 2009:
· We assisted 2,892 crisis line callers, served 234 children with the only free clinical counseling available to children who witness domestic violence in the State of Oregon, assisted 803 people in getting restraining orders at the Washington County Courthouse, we presented to over 1200 high school students, and nearly 2,000 adults attended support groups and counseling.
· We moved one of our two Hillsboro offices to Beaverton so that our services are more centrally located.
· We presented to 152 elementary school students on how to stay safe and what healthy relationships look and feel like- a first for our outreach program.
With violence in the community increasing and available funds decreasing, 2009 was a tough year. However, for some, it will go on record as a year of hope and new beginnings. We used to average 5 calls a day to our crisis line—this last week we received 20-25 calls each day. All of these new people are reaching out to us for support, who otherwise wouldn’t. That’s the silver lining to these tragedies: people realize that domestic violence is a serious issue, and that they not only can, but will do something about it. And with your support, we can help them empower themselves to have safe and healthy relationships.
We are counting on you for your support. Please donate today, and join other like-minded champions in the community (click here for a list of contributers to our annual appeal). Thank you for your support of our mission to empower survivors and educate the community to prevent domestic violence. Together we will build a safer and healthier Washington County.
With hope,
La Donna Burgess
Executive Director
503-640-5352 x 303
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Thank you to our incredible volunteers
Thanks to 26 volunteers for coming out and working for three days to send out our annual appeal
We were all very impressed and humbled by the commitment and passion of the great volunteers who came out and just didn’t go home ‘til the mailing was done!
It was a nice reminder after a dark month of the compassion there is in the community and desire to help support survivors of domestic violence.
Last year we had 12 volunteers, and it took three weeks to put together. This year we had 26, and Wednesday and Thursday and Friday we were turning volunteers away due to a lack of work! I hesitate to even include that sentence, but I just can’t underscore the outpouring of support we had last week—and want to honor those who showed up to give. Because of these fantastic volunteers, what took us three weeks last year was done in two days and three hours.
Our annual appeal is one of our most important fundraising efforts—it brings in the majority of the individual community donations we receive each year. It is critical to the health and vitality of our services as we help those in need. You can be part of it, too! If everyone on this mailing list donated $20, that would provide nearly half of what we need this year from donors like you to continue providing our free and bilingual shelter services, advocacy, counseling and support groups through 13 skilled staff members and 12 Masters-level social work/counseling interns who provide services to over 10,000 people a year at three different locations across the county. (See those who’ve contributed thus far here.)
This year, due to cuts in funding (read about our financials here, or email me for more information), we’re asking people to give a little bit more than they have in the past. Everyone is under greater financial strain this year, but our services are just as much in demand as they ever were.
Please donate today. And track our progress towards our goal on the front page of our website through January! If you have any questions or would like more information please don’t hesitate to contact me, Sarah Keefe, Comm. Outreach/Ed./Development Coordinator at sarahk (at) dvrc-or (dot) org or call 503-640-5352 x 308 or 503-926-3245.
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Santa Claus comes to town, despite Development Coordinator’s cynicism
And just like Sasquatch, it’s hard to take a picture of him without the results being slightly blurred
Three weeks ago I got a call from a man who called himself “Santa”. He was calling us to ask if Monika’s House Shelter needed donations. He would be dropping off new plush stuffed animals for the children we serve. I said “that’s nice” and told him where we were, and that I was looking forward to his visit. Santa. Yeah right—maybe metaphorically Santa, but not really Santa.
Oh yes, really! Tuesday night Santa comes into the office “ho ho ho” ing with a generous check for $387 from Back to Basics Chiropractic (thanks to Santa’s advocacy, we were the recipient of the proceeds from their grand opening party for their new office in Hillsboro) and the new stuffed animals for the children at Monika’s House Shelter. See the picture above as proof that Santa Claus was here! His signature laughter resounded in our admin/dev. office section, so much so that as he was leaving our Clinical Services Director and an intern poked their heads out of their office and said—“Sarah, was that… Santa?” “Yes, ladies, that was Santa!”
A believer,
Sarah
Sarah H. Keefe
Development Coordinator
503-926-3245 or 503-640-5352 x 308
“My Story” by Eva, Survivor
Warning: possibly triggering content. Name changed to protect anonymity. Scroll down for “My Story” en Español.
“Hello my name is Eva, and I am a victim of Domestic Violence. I lived with my partner for six years. Our relationship was a constant mental and physical abuse. He would always hit me and make fun of me, I felt humiliated.
Everything was more important to him than me, he would never respect me or cared about my feelings, even his friends disrespected and threatened me. I was living in constant worry. That worry became a reality when one night he lost his temper and started to attack me, he hit me, kicked me, pull and pushed me. I was begging him to stop but instead he continue to hit me, he was screaming and spitting at me, I tried to get away towards the door or the windows, I screamed for help but no one heard me. There was a moment that he calmed down only to attack me again, this time he started to choke me until I couldn’t breath.
At that moment I thought that was the end of my life and I started to pray and asked God to help me. At that moment he let go of me and started walking to the kitchen where he grabbed a knife. I took off running, locking myself in another room. I didn’t come out until the next morning and then I left.
Monika’s House
When I got to Monika’s House, the first thing I saw was a beautiful place surrounded with enormous pine trees and fresh air. The person that opened the door smiled at me and said “Welcome” they showed me the installations, they assigned me a room where I rested. They gave me food and clothing but most of all they gave me attention. They listened to me, they believed in me, they supported me when I needed it the most. The attention that I received was more than I could ever have imagined and overcame the insecurities that I felt during my stay at the shelter. I was given all the information that I needed to start my life. I was given psychological therapy in group and individually. If I had a crisis the staff was always there to help me no matter if it was day or night. They took me three times to the court to put a restraining order against my abuser.
For the first days that I was there someone would always accompany me to do my errands since I was still afraid that I would run into my abuser. I was given passes for my transportation. They also help me to register to go to school to complete my GED. As the days went by I was feeling much better and more in peace.
Shortly, I started to go out by myself. Monika’s House helped me and oriented me to find a job and a place to live. In Monika’s House I learned to not be co-dependent, instead I learned how to be independent and how to identify and recognize the signs of abuse. In Monica’s House I recovered my self esteem, my dignity and my confidence. I started to smile and I started to live. Today I have my own life, a healthy life. Today I have a job, I go to school I have a new circle of friends to go out to new places. I wake up happy every morning with a smile on my face ready to start my day.
I like to be happy.
Thank you to Monica’s House and thank you for listening to my story.”
—Eva
Please help us continue to help courageous people like Eva. Donate right now! We really need your support today. Whatever you’re able to give would make a difference.
Mi Historia, por Eva
” Hola mi nombre es Eva, y yo tambien he sido una victima de Violencia Domestica. Por seis anos mantube una relacion con mi pareja la cual fue un constante abuso mental y sicologico hasta que llego a convertirse en burlas, humillaciones y golpes. Yo me sentia sola y humillada. Todo era mas importante para el que yo. El no me respetaba ni le importaban mis sentimentos, hasta sus amigos me humillaban y me amenasaban, yo vivia en un constante temor. Ese temor se convertio en realidad cuando una noche el perdio el control y me ataco a golpes , patadas, jalones y trancasos. Yo le suplicaba que se detubier pero en vez de hacerlo me gritaba, se burlaba, me escupia y no dejaba de golpearme y humillarme. Yo trate de habrir la puerta y las ventanas para pedir ayuda pero nadie me escucho. Hubo un momento que se tranquilizo solo para volverme atacar y empezarme a horcar, yo sentia que me faltaba la respiracion y en esos momentos pense que esto era mi fin me encomende a Dios y empeze arezar, en ese momento el me solto y camino a la cosina y tomo un cuchillo. Yo sali corriendo y me encerre en la habitacion. Al otro dia por la manana me sali.
La casa del Refugio de Monika
Cuando llegue por primera a Monika’s House lo primero que me di cuenta era de que era un lugar muy bonito rodeado de grandes pinos donde se podia percatar el aire fresco. La persona que me recibio me abrio la puerta, me sonrio y me dio la bienvenida. Me mostraron las instalaciones y me asignaron una habitacion donde pude descansar. Me dieron comida y ropa pero sobre todo me brindaron su atencion. Me escucharon, creyeron en mi, y me apoyaron cuando mas yo lo necesitaba. La atencion que recibi fue mas de la que yo hubiera imaginado . Me senti muy segura durante mi estancia en el refugio. Me dieron toda la informacion necesaria para recomenzar mi vida. Me brindaron terapia sicologica en grupo e individual. Cuando llegue a tener alguna crisis siempre hubo alguien para aydarme a cualquier hora del dia y de la noche. Me llevaron mas de tres veces a la corte de Washington para poner una restricsion en contra de mi abusador. Siempre hubo alguien que me acompanara a hacer mis dilijencias, puesto que en ese entonces yo tenia miedo de encontrarme con mi abusador.Me dieron pases parapoder transportarme.
Tambien me ayudaron a inscribirme en la Universidad de Mt. Hood para terminar un curso de transisiones y terminar mi GED. Conforme pasaron los dias me iva sintiendo mejor y mas tranquila poco a poco empeze a salir solo y a reincorporarme a mi nueva vida.
Monika’s House me ayudo y me oriento a buscar trabajo y un lugar donde vivir. En Monica’s House aprendi a no ser co-dependiente sino a ser independiente. Aprendi a a identificar y a reconocer las senales de abuso. Em monica ‘s recupere mi autoestima, mi dignidad y la confianza en mi misma. Empeze a sonreir y empeze a vivir. Hoy en dia tengo un trabajo, estudio y tengo un circulo nueve de amistades con las cuales salgo a conocer muchos lugares. Me despierto cada manana con una sonrisa lista para empezar un nuevo dia. Me gusta ser feliz. Gracias por.”
- Eva
