Editorial: Laughing in the Face of Domestic Violence
by Shanya Luther
Wait, I know what you’re thinking, but give me a chance to explain. The thing is we all know domestic violence is no laughing matter. It is a terrible, demeaning, oppressive, and sometimes fatal issue. It is dark and depressing and insidious. And for all of these reasons it is so important for those of us working in the field to be sure to relax every once in a while. In fact, at our agency we stress the importance of self-care to all of our staff, volunteers and interns. We want everyone providing services to take care of themselves so they can be at their best when they are working with domestic violence survivors.
I’m reminded of this is because of a recent staff training at our agency. The entire staff from our Monika’s House Shelter was training on the new procedures, processes and systems we’d designed to improve and expand our services. They spent an entire week’s worth of time and energy mastering all the details to prepare them for their changing roles and responsibilities. By the end of the week they were, indeed, prepared. They were also exhausted, overwhelmed, saturated, and acutely aware of the severity of domestic violence.
And so it was, in the final stretch of this long and intense training, when we began to cover self-care. By the time dinner rolled around on Thursday, it was clear that trying to do the formal training that night was just going to be too much. No one had the energy or focus to give the topic. We switched gears to move into team building. But it was after the scheduled exercises when the true entertainment really started.
It happened so naturally and casually that we hardly noticed it, but before we knew it we were sharing stories of our lives – embarrassing, funny, stupid-things-we-once-did stories. We were getting to know each other, learning about one another; but the most important thing that happened that night, the thing that truly brought us together and contributed to our genuine self-care, was that we laughed.
We laughed in giggles, in fits, in snorts, and in waves. We doubled over, threw our heads back, fell out of our seats, and wiped tears from our eyes. We burst out, choked, kicked our heels, and had to go outside for air. I mean to tell you, we laughed. We laughed about funny things and stupid things and totally inappropriate, non-pc things. We laughed till it hurt and for hours, and every single one of us felt great by the time the evening was done.
We did cover self-care in our formal training the next morning. However, everyone agreed that the night before had been an impromptu self-care session. The experience reminded me of how critically important it is to bring joy and fun and laughter into our work. Many of us work with incredibly serious and horrific issues; and specifically for that reason we must remember to have fun and laugh together!
So tell me, what have you done for self-care lately?
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